So where have I been?
I created this blog a year ago with a lot of passion, inspiration and ideas on my mind. And I am still as passionate about it as I was in the beginning. I still have so many plans, and ideas for it, and I love it like my little baby, as it offers me a place to express myself freely and artistically about the things which are important to me, and anything I come across to find helpful and inspiring. But in the last few months I didn’t feel able to express myself freely on a personal level. When I look through my old posts, also on other social media platforms such as instagram, I can hardly identify myself with the way I was putting content out into this world. In addition to that my blog, as well as my instagram and YouTube are all over the place, as they lack consistency and direction.
I guess just as my life,
and me.
In the last few months I think I created more art than I ever did in my entire life. I wrote an awful lot of songs, painted canvas and paper with all shades of colors, and decorated countless pages of notebooks with ink stained syllables of my soul. All too personal to share. And as an artist not feeling able to share my art has driven me nuts. I felt absolutely unable to express myself freely, due to fear of what others might think of me, and at some point not only artistically but also as a person as well.
In life either nothing is happening, or everything happens at once.
While for a year now I seemed to be stuck in life, and nothing seemed to be moving towards the direction of my dreams, everything happened at once in my life interpersonal and within myself. Life forced me (or has given me the opportunity excuse me) to face topics within myself I was avoiding since back to childhood. I had no chance but to identify insecurities, limiting, and learned beliefs and patterns of behaviour, fundamented in fear, which have nothing to do with the individual I am, and which do not serve me anymore.
One of them clearly my insecurity of expressing myself.
I also didn’t feel like anyone really would read what I post on my blog or could resonate, so I kind of felt ridiculous investing so much energy in it. Also I get bored easily when I don’t see results quickly, and this blog seemed to be going nowhere.
But today it just hit me that, wait, I’m a writer and blogger, so writing and blogging should be a part of my daily life. So here I am, a bit out of practise sharing myself in a blog post, but my heart and soul all into it.
So for the few few people who are actually subscribed to HAPPYSOULSCLUB, thank you for sticking around! I love and appreciate you all so much, and it means the world to me that you read the thoughts of this way to vivid mind of mine. Even tho they tend to be very long ( I always have to watch myself not turning them into a novel). Every like and comment of you fills my body and soul with joy, and my mind with more inspiration. I’d like to say that I don’t need anybody’s validation, but especially as a beginner it’s oh so lovely to be acknowledged and get feedback. And of course the most beautiful part about all this is to be connected to you guys, and exchange with like-minded people who can resonate. So thank you.
As always feel free to leave your love and soul in the comment section,
until next time!
x Lotta
Happy Souls Club 